


If I Could Fly

by TempharryFix



Category: Directioner, One Direction
Genre: 1d, Blood Brothers, Freedom, Gay, Love, M/M, Multi, Royalty, Tragedy, hatty, larrie, larries, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, prince - Freeform, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-19 18:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5976454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TempharryFix/pseuds/TempharryFix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'They scarred their skin with ink to reveal the secrets which were buried under all the forbidden truths'</p><p> "I can save you but I wont fall in love with you."</p><p>So far every Disney prince is straight but have you ever wondered if any of them actually are gay? Is it because they are afraid of being disowned by their families? Well what happens when the prince falls for the villain?</p><p>"A villain is just a victim whose story hasn't been told"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> "I can save you but I wont fall in love with you."
> 
> So far every Disney prince is straight but have you ever wondered if any of them actually are gay? Is it because they are afraid of being disowned by their families? Well what happens when the prince falls for the villain?
> 
> \----------------------------------------------
> 
> I'm writing this for a number of reasons;
> 
> 1)  Because Disney never have any story's that are BoyXBoy or GirlXGirl, so I wanted to make one.
> 
> 2) Because Im larryaf
> 
> 3) Because it's okay to be in a relationship or like whoever you are attracted to whether its the same sex or not.
> 
> 4)  Because it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of it or you but as long as it makes you happy, thats all you should worry about.
> 
> 5) Because Wattpad & One Direction have ruined my life!

Dark was upon us, the moon bright and the stars gleeming. Here I am staring out my window, captivated by the world it's self. For years, wondering everyday if it would be the day to be allowed to venture the outside. Always imagining what the world outside the castle would be like. How the grass would feel beneath my feet and what it would be like to walk through the forest I see everyday in the view; having the scent of the bark and the nature drifting to your nose. Maybe one day able to climb those beautiful mountains in the distance or even row a boat in the lake. The main thing which I would never be allowed to do I just walk through the village and see all the people with a smile on their faces, enjoying their day. Oh how many times I have dreamed of that day but I have learnt now that the day will never arrive until my parents, the king and queen are deceased.

For some reason, unknown to man they like to keep me cooped up all alone. Many times I have asked but tried and failed, there is no choice but to listen to their orders. They only have one reason which is, in there exact words: "The world out there is a dangerous place, son." 

I can tell they are hiding something from me but what it is, I just haven't discovered yet. I need help but I have no one. No friends, no one! I've never had experience talking to another human other than my parents and the nanny who took care of me as a child, much better than my own parents I must admit. 

16 years of my life has passed, 16 but still they say I'm too young to be alone out in the world.


	2. II

Another week has gone by with still no luck with going to the outside world. I've asked a number of times but like usual they've denied me access to the gardens once again.

I'm the prince so I have lots of money manly which I've inherited from my grandparents. most of the people in the world will think money can make you happy but for me it doesn't. You may all think that I'm ungrateful, think what ever you must but I am grateful to have a future and money to support myself. But the thing is I have too much money and the poorer people in this county are in more need of it than I! All I want is freedom and the only way I can have that is from my parents. 

There isn't much to do bit I have found something I enjoy which is painting. I do so much, I've painted my wall; every single blank space is covered. I had to move on to do other kinds of art, From portraits(of my family and myself as that's the only people I know) to abstract pieces. 

Last night at dinner my parents told me that they would be going on a trip for a couple days into the village, when I suggested going with them they told me no. I asked why who he'd ended up with them giving me a lecture about how I shouted keep asking questions and when they say no not to carry on.the last thing they mentioned was I never allowed to go through the door into the outside as it's not safe, so there is no point in bothering requesting the idea again.

They will be leaving tomorrow morning, some may say it would be my chance to escape but I'm just not sure if I want to disobey them buy doing that which disrespects their wishes, I would feel so guilty if an action which I took made them upset or even angry with me. 

I will just spend the time like usual and stay locked up and paint, paint my imagination of the world through my eyes. I don't know what is so wrong about the country that makes me not allowed out to see, surely it can't be as dangerous and they say it is.

Still to this day I'm not sure if what I can remember was real or not. I remember seeing my dad and I playing football, I was only little but the memory is still there. The sky was blue which must have meant it was summer as this hardly ever happens in England. I remember my dad telling me about the maze behind where we where playing but as I was young I wasn't allowed in there incase I got lost. It must me true as it seems like something they would say. I have never been in the gardens from what I can remember so there is no way to confirm of what I remember is true or not. I've asked once about playing football but they just said no but I'm sure they were lying. From what I can remember, it seemed quite fun and I would sure love to have a go at playing it but the problem is I don't know how. If only I had an older brother that could teach me how!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess who the person trapped is?


	3. III

I was awoken by my mother bright and early which didn't start my day off to well, I have always hated waking up early. I suppose the only benefit of this thing called school, which I have never had any experience of going to, is that I don't have to wake up at a ridiculous time I the morning to get ready.

Today was when my parents were leaving for a couple days but I was going to keep my word by not leaving the castle, I wouldn't want to disobey any of them.

"Son, your father and I want to talk to you down stairs.", my mother called up to me.

I was dressed in my usual attire; white button up shirt and tight fitted black trousers. I could never wear baggy trousers I just didn't like the way they looked on me nor the way they felt, uncomfortable. I opened my door and made my way to the dinning room where I assumed they would be eating their breakfast.

I pulled one of the oak chairs out from under the table which had a red cushion connected to it. 

"I want to explain somethings to you, therefore you must respond calmly and reasonable." My father told me sternly, I nodded in reply and he carried on with his explaination.  
"Me and your mother are not only going to visit some relatives out of town but we will be meeting a lovely young lady which we have been told, she is from a wealthy family which is why she could be your future wife." Explained further. To say I wasn't surprised would be a lie because I was, utterly.

"Wha- why? I just- I don't know" I was at a lose for words. 

"Well you are growing older and because we don't allow you to go outside we have to find a woman for you and in a few years you will marry her. I have a few rules for when I'm gone and you must not break them!"

I couldn't believe they would do this with out my permission, I've never talked to anyone apart for three people. Just thinking about meeting someone new gives me anxiety, I won't be able to make conversation with her or anyone for a matter of fact. 

"What if I don't fall in with her love her? What if I don't like women at all and it's boys I want to be wi-" I was saying until my father cut me off.

"No one in this household will be gay, do you understand. We are royalty which means we do not want our name tarnished with that sin. I do not approve of anyone who is this way, it is not acceptable. It is not normal so whether you like women or not you will marry a female!" He demanded.

"I understand sir and I'm fully normal... well I think I am for that matter. I do not want to cause embarrassment this family so I will do as asked; I was only complying that I may be that word because I've never had any sort of interaction with the outside worl-" once again he cut me off but I couldn't say a think or else he may become furious.

"Another of this nonsense talk, you are to marry a female and my point is that you are only getting older and before you know it it will be your turn to become King of England, make all the decisions, et cetera."

"Please I d-don't want to talk about that for a while, it makes me um n-nervous."

"Stop with the stammering boy, you should speak properly instead of like a low social status child who has been poorly educated."

I just nodded, fed up with all the constant nagging; when would this be over?

"Now I must explain the rules to you and you have to listen and follow them. They are:  
-No going outside, must stay in the castle at all times.  
-No contacting anyone except for your mother and I.  
-The only rooms which you are allowed in are your bedroom, kitchen, living room, dining room and obviously the bathrooms. None others!  
-Keep this home spotless  
-Do not let me come back to a mess.  
-No matter how many time the door im gets knocked you are are not permitted to open it to anyone. is that clear?"  
He asked.

"Crystal."

"I guess that it then, we will be of."he told me.

"Bye, I love you." I said, aiming it at the both of them.

"I- i l-" he couldn't even say it so my mother finished the sentence for him.

"I-I love you to?" She said but it came out as a question. why do I always feel they don't love, they find it so hard to say me as well as that they are hiding something from me. They should know by now that nothing stays a secret forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here your update, I hope you liked it and still any guesses as to who the person is? I hope non of you got offended by anything that was written, I do not think any of that, it's just some peoples opinions but I personally think their judgement is wrong; it is fine and acceptable to feel that way. This is set in the 1920's or something and they weren't so much accepting back then so it has to be shown in this story.


	4. IV

This was excellent! I had just seen the king and queen leave to somewhere unknown to me but what I did know was that they wouldn't be back for a couple days. Me and the other boys were in luck recently, not getting caught when we stole valuables from people's houses. We couldn't stay in the village as people knew who we were and that would mean we would get punished. And that would be getting hung for our crimes.

"Mathew, Zayn, I have a new place we can check out." I called for them and they new exactly what I ment.

"Where is that to then?" Zayn asked

"The king and queens castle." I told them both.

Zayn had a smile on his face but Mathew however didn't. He obviously doesn't think it's a good idea.

"I'm in, when are we leaving?" Zayn asked me.

"That's great and whenever really, we could leave now. What about you matty?" 

"I don't think it's a good idea, this is really risky and I don't want to die." He replied which made me a bit frustrated as he had done this hundreds of times before but just not this place.

"Mathew, you have done this a lot of times before and did we get caught, no! There is no difference this time except the things we will take are worth more money. No one is there which means there is no way of getting caught." I explained my reasons to him.

"I still don't know but if you don't get caught this time I will join you two next time." I compromised.

I just shook my head and then got some bags to help carry the stolen items for later.  
.  
.  
.

We were nearly there, the castle was in sight, not long until we would be I side.  
I turned my head to look behind me, the view was beautiful to say the least; we had never been this far away from home before. 

"I'm going to raid the queens jewellery box, just imagine all the diamonds and Jews in there." Zayn told me excitedly. 

"I don't know what I'm looking for but I'm sure everything in there will be worth more than ourselves." I told him.

As we walked up the stone path we reached the white iron gates, this was a problem for us. We looked around trying to find another way in but the only option was to climb through a hedge.

After getting through the other side i brushed myself off and took a couple leaves out of my brown hair, it was getting long and I never had much time to cut it so I left it like it is. 

We went to find a back door so if there was anyone about they wouldn't spot us. I had picked a few locks in my time so that became an easy task for me.   
Once I stepped through the door I was in awe. It was truly magnificent. What I'd give to be living this life of luxury, I would always be happy with a home like this and all the money I would ever need and more.

Zayn followed in through the door behind me and then I heard him gasp, he had obviously seen the place.

I walked through the hall way which lead to a gold stair case, they must he rich to have stairs made out of gold! I walked up them slowly, taking everything in; it was all quiet except for the sounds of feet against the metal.

Zayn opened the first oak door and to his luck it was the queens room by the looks of it.

I walked straight to the end of the corridor to another oak door, for some reason it pulled me over and I just had to check it out. I twisted the gold knob which opened to a beautiful room, all walls painted and the view was the best thing which I could see from the window. I stepped more into the room, as I looked through some of the draws I heard the door open wider and movement so I said without turning around to look, "Zayn isn't this just the best place we've ever seen?" 

I carried on searching for something until I heard a voice that didn't sound like zayn's at all, "I- it's not zayn, it's H-Harry." 

I turned around in a second to be faced with a boy who looked only a couple years younger than I, he had brown curls that were in right ringlets and his green eyes were mesmerising. I realised I was staring at him for a little too long. He looked frightened, as if he had never even seen a human being before but that certainly wasn't the case, he was here for the same reason as me; to steal from the Royals. For a split second I thought it was Matty and he decided to join us, I shook my head; oh how much they look alike.

"Who a-are yo-u?" He asked scared.

"I could ask you the same thing but seeing as you asked first Louis Tomlinson." As soon as I mentioned my name a gasp fell from his cherry lips... Why am I thinking about him like this, I am straight. 

"Y-you're Louis T-Tomlinson?" He asked again stamering. A smirk formed in my lips, he knew who I was, 'The villain of the village' as some may say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Louis is the villain and Harry is the prince whose locked in the castle. Comment who you thought it was going to be.


	5. V

~Harry~

"Y-you're Louis T-Tomlinson?" I stuttered. I always do this.  It's terribly embarrassing, my parents; especially my father tells me it is. I can't forget it when he says it will make me look uneducated. He shouts at me saying things like 'Do you have problems boy?' This makes it worse and I don't think I would stutter so much if I had a friend to talk to, but I have no one. I'm alone! 

I looked back at him, he was smirking at me. His blue eyes were bright and much more beautiful that my own green ones. If I had heard right then he is the famous thief that is wanted, that must be the case or why else would he be here? No one knows about me, how who they? I've never taken a step out of this home.

"Yes, yes I am." 

I let out a small gasp by accident and quickly put my hand in front of my mouth before I say something else.

"B-but that means you should be h-hanged." I told him nervously again.   
The good thing about him he lets me finish my sentence which is strange as I'm not used to it. My father or mother usually cuts me off because they think I'm speaking nonsense so there is no need to listen; this is one of the reasons why I always stay in my room. I shouldn't feel like this, well at least I think anyway but I've never had anyone to talk to about it. I feel like they don't love me, I hardly hear them say it, my father is the one who doesn't the most; it usually ends up with my mother finishing the sentence for him. My walls make me feel better about myself and give me love.

"I should be yes, but I haven't been caught. You should be too for what you're doing." 

"W-what? W-why would I be g-getting hanged?" I asked confused.

"You're here doing the same thing as me. You take the King and Queen as an advantage to steal their valuables." 

I laughed at what he said but not confidently, I was still nervous. "I'm not here to do that, silly." 

"Then why are you here?" He was the confused one this time.

"I-I live here, Im t-their son." I told him and the look on his face was priceless. He wasn't expecting those words to come out of my mouth but they did and when they did he said, "w-what?" This time he was the one that stammered, not me.

"I'm the prince of England." For the first time ever which I can remember I didn't get nervous and not stutter. 

"But... how do we not know about you? How old are you? Sixteen." he asked

"Y-yes that's right, I am sixteen. You see my parents say it's a dangerous life to live if you go out side so they make me remain in this castle forever and that way I will have no harm conflicted towards me." I explained briefly, I realised that as I was talking so much there wasn't a need to feel nervous which mean I talked better.

"And what? You listen to them?" 

"Yes, of course I do, they're my parents." I told him as if it was obvious.

Louis replied with, "Well if it was me I would escape now while they are on a trip and therefore be free. Do you ever wish to be allowed outside? Have you ever been in your own garden?" He questioned more.

"I'm not you am I, you steal I don't. I've asked but it's no use and they told me I wasn't allowed while I was away. and to answer you final question, no I haven't at least I don't think I have." 

I didn't bother to mention my memory or dream, whatever you want to call it as it's no use to him.

"You may not be but I think you would have a better life if you di- actually you have a great life, as much money as you could ever dream of. Harry you live in a gigantic castle what is not so good about your life, being outside isn't that good at all to be honest; I know I would rather be living your life." He explained but he didn't have a clue what my life was like, it's not at all what it looks like. Money seems like the most important thing in the world but it's not, it doesn't make you happy; well not me at least. 

"You have no idea what my life's like, being trapped in here every single second of everyday, I just want to go outside. Breath in the fresh air and feel the grass beneath my feet. And...what I really want the most is to be loved, and not be alone." I let everything out for once and it felt good, never in my life have I had someone to talk to and share my problems with. When I felt Louis fingertips on my cheek wiping away the tears I had shed just moments before, I realised I had cried while letting my emotions run free. That's what I wish to be, free.

"Maybe you could... no, never mind"

"No come on tell me what you were going to say, don't get all nervous now when I know you are feeling less nervous around me, goodness knows why we have only just met." Louis persuaded me to say the thing I intended to.

"Louis, I-I was wondering if you could... could possible help me go out side and show me knew things." I asked and then remembered my manners, "Please, I would be very grateful!"

"I don't know if I'm the right person to do that, I wouldn't say I'm on the villagers top list to see me." 

"Please you're the only person to ever talk to me, I need to do this. Plus if you help me I won't let you get hanged." I bribed him a bit but I needed to do this so it was worth it.

"I'm going to have to do this now, aren't I." He said, I knew it would work as he definitely didn't want to die. I nodded my head.

"Fine we will do it tomorrow."


	6. VI

~Harry~ 

Today was the day I could finally be free, no longer being cooped up in my room like a bird in a cage. I would be able to feel the cold refreshing breeze engulfing my body. I couldn't say I wasn't afraid because I was and I'm not one for lying. I had the sickening guilt laced at the bottom of my stomach, I had to think to myself 'would my parents approve?' And the answer to that would be no. I shouldn't be doing this! My fathers wishes were to stay inside and never leave. 

That boy...man, was a robber and I didn't get harmed by him at all. I have a feeling that there is another reason why I'm not allowed out. How come no one knows about me? I'm the Prince of England yet no one knew they had a son.

I pulled out my pocket watch from my suit jacket and looked at the time. Louis should be here soon.

•

•

I heard banging at the door, I ran down the stairs to open the door. Once I opened it there stood Louis and this boy with chocolate brown curls like mine. He was like a replica of myself.

I don't know what it was but I couldn't keep my eyes off him, he was mesmerising I suppose you could say. One of the only difference was his eye colour, mine green his brown. His were shiny and had a polished affect, only I could ever dream of having them. 

There was something about Louis too, he had beautiful sapphire eyes that sparkled. I wasn't sure who was more beautiful, this man or Louis. Was I attracted to men? I don't know the answer but they both did give me butterfly's. Is this how I would feel about this woman who was supposed to be my wife? If I didn't this would mean I was infact gay, I would be so ashamed because my parents would disown me no doubt. I don't see a problem with it but they do, everything I do is to try and please them. 

"Hi I'm Mathew but I prefer to be called Matty." 

Matty, Matty... That name sounds familiar but I just can't think of where..... ah that's right, Louis today me about him. 

"I'm H-Harry." I stuttered again because he was someone new. I politely stuck my hand out to shake his like my father told me always to do but he ignored my gesture, barging right through.

Quite rude I would say but then again they steal from people and don't feel bad. I could never do that!

"So Harry are you going to leave or be a good little boy and stay?" Louis asked patronisingly, he knew the only reason I never left was because my parents didn't want me to or some bizarre reason, all I just wanted to do was please them.

"Yes definitely, this is my only chance." I said without a second thought. My parents weren't here to stop me.

"Ooh Harry you're quite the rebellious one, I would never have expected that." Matty assumed, if I was to meet someone new I would never judge them. I know what they do and still, I don't judge them; Louis even tried stealing from me and I didn't give him a punishment. But maybe that's because I'm too weak and he wouldn't bother to fret about it. 

"This is m-my f-first time, I-I have never d-done something like this be-fore." My stammer was even worse than before, why did I have to be so anxious all the time?

"Oh I should have none, just think how disappointed your parents are going to be; so ashamed!" He metaphorically backed me in a corner by guilt tripping me.

"Oh I don't know, will they really be upset with me?"


	7. VII

"Oh I don't know, will they really be upset with me?" I don't know why I asked this question because of course they would be, their wish that I didn't leave the castle but I was just about to. I had a dilemma, do as my parents pleased or prove them two boys wrong and of course I wanted to do the second option. I felt that if I accomplished this, not only would I be living my dream but showing that fear didn't wash over me or that I was a goody goody. 

 

"Are you stupid? If they say not to do something but you carry on and do it anyway then obviously its going to upset them that you didn't listen!" Matty explained, I didn't like his tone. But something about him was just so intreging, making me not mind. It's like he had some kind of hold over me, he seemed somewhat familiar to me. I know I've never seen him before and that's a fact but just the feeling I had in my bones felt like he was connected to me in some way.

 

"This is my dream, to be free...Even if it is only for a couple days, but at least I would have reached my goal. Isn't that what a parent should want? To achieve your life dream which will make you happy?"

 

"Just leave the poor kid alone, Matty" Louis defended. It made me feel happy that he was doing that for me instead of supporting his friend.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry kid." The chocolate curled haired boy, similar to my own, apologised.

"Apology accepted, but remember we are near enough the same age." I tried to show him that I didn't like the fact that he called me kid, it felt like he was under-miming by saying that. It made me feel uncomfortable and like a baby when I was nearly an adult.

"I'm sorry Henry, when's your birthday?" He said my name wrong, my name wasn't Henry. this was getting immature, he wanted to compare birthdays to see who was the oldest.

"My name's Harold or Harry, not Henry! My birthday is on the 1st of February 1904." Once I told him my birthday his face began to become pale, he held a shocked expression.

"You're fibbing, you have to be. B-because that when my birthday is."

Before I had a chance to speak again, Matty beat me to it. "This is so peculiar, maybe we're... No never mind." 

I was alway a curious boy, my parents have said so too. If I didn't find out the thing I was a mystery to me, then I wouldn't let it go until I found out.  
"'Maybe we're' what?" I questioned.

"Maybe we're long lost twins...I don't know but it's only a suggestion."  
This was barbaric, how could he think such a thing, that certainly wasn't the case; it didn't make any sense.

"You, Matty, are insane. What a ridiculous thought!" I couldn't help but raise my voice while talking to him, I'm sure his parents love him and I think mine do even though they don't show it. We would have been told if we had a sibling.

"I'm sorry for mentioning it, it-it was foolish of me."

The conversation soon came to a halt and a new subject was brought up again. 

"So do you want to come and live your dream Harold?" Louis asked me, I did but I was frightened.

"I'm nervous Lou." I was confident enough to tell him my fear without worry that he may laugh at me. Come to think of it, I did feel quite comfortable around these boys; well I'm not too sure about Matty but Louis definately.

"Awh Haz, we will take it one step at a time, eventually it will lead us out and into the free land." 

I didn't know how to feel about what he had just said, there was two was I could interpret it.  
"I don't need your pitty."

"Wha- no. I mean it, I will help you accomplish this. I think we could be great friends." 

"Thank you, you are the only friend I have." I told him happily, but inside I his the pain. I wasn't happy that for 16 years of my life I had no friends, no one to talk to at all about anything I wished. To have someone I could share my problems with or just play with in my childhood. The only way I could express my feelings was through paintings. The Royalty life wasn't as good as people imagined, the money means nothing to me whereas freedom is what strive for.

"What about me?" Matty asked with a slightly discontent tone.

"Oh, you can be my friend too it's just I-I didn't think you would want to." Great the stammer was back!

"Right Harry, all you need to do is take a deep breath and walk in a straight line. I will hold the door open for you."

I slowly walked towards the wooden door, with Louis strong arms; he pulled it open. I could see emerald coloured grass, a blue sky filled with white clouds. The sun beamed down on everything, it looked warm but that could just be an illusion. I don't have a clue about England's weather for I have never exited the castle.

As I grew closer to the outside world my heart began to race at a very high speed. My hands shook and my knees wobbled as I walked, this has to be the most frightening thing I have ever had to encounter! 

"Come on Harold, one last step and you're outside."

"I'm not sure if I want to do this any longer." I told them anxiously.

"Harry, you need to be brave. You've dreamed about this day for over a decade, this is your only chance to be surrounded by nature." Matty encouraged me further.

"Yes you're right, I need to be extremely brave to make myself content." I told the both of them.

I lifted my pale bare foot off of the ground, about to step out into the free land.y foot shook like a leaf, I just needed to put my foot down.

Slowly, taking my time, one foot was place out of the castle. Grass felt foreign between my toes, I had never had a feeling quite like it.  
Soon enough the other one was out too, I was finally out of my cage. My smile was prominant, no doubt my dimples would be carved with in my rosy cheeks. 

It was incredible to feel the cool breeze engulf you, the view was tremendous. I loved this moment, but sadly I would have to return to the castle quicker than I would like.

I didn't know what was wrong with me, my chest became tight and I found it had to breath, I was shaking also. Louis suggested we say down in the meadow so we did, buttercups surrounded us. Fortunately for me, as the minutes ticked on, I got more stable than I was only moments before.

"Tell me something about you, Harold."


	8. VIII

~Harry~

"Tell me something about yourself Harold"

What was there to say? Nothing really, I was nothing. Nothing really happened  in my life so there wasn't much to talk about.

"Eh...I'm a prince?" I nervously stated even though I expect that already knew.

"You idiot, you've told us that already. Tell us something new." Louis commanded.

"Uh, my parents are away because they are arranging a marriage for me." 

His mouth hanged open in awe, obviously he was surprised by what I had to say.

"Your what? How old are you again?"

"16..." I replied not understanding where this was going to go.

"And you have to get married already?" 

"I guess so but I'm not so keen on it. I've never talked to a female other than my mother, what if I like boys?" I questioned worriedly, the problem with me was that I worried too much.

"Well then if you like boys you will be like young Matty here." Louis joked patting Matty on the shoulder.

"You like men? Aren't your parents angry?" I had to ask as I was too curious to keep it in, my parents would be so unbelievably furious at me so I was sure his were too.

"Mum, my dad left when I was a baby. And no she said she didn't care just as long as I was healthy, I'm lucky I guess." I wish his mum was my mother, I shouldn't say it but it was true. She accepted him which would be any gay persons wish but unfortunately for me, if I was gay then I would be disowned and probably vanished from the kingdom.

"Oh, you're lucky. My parents told me that I couldn't like men as it was wrong, I think everyone should be equal." As I solemnly talked I looked down towards the field, the grass budding through the slits in between my fingers. I grasped my hand closed as I pulled it up out of the soil; it was strange how we found it entertaining to watch plants die for no reason at all.

"Obviously they don't deserve to have children of they are like this, maybe you're not really their son." Matty digged, the start was right but the last part of his sentence had to be false. Just because they were judgemental it didn't mean that I wasn't their son.

"You're ridiculous! I won't ask you again, please stop." I hopelessly pleaded.

"Sorry. I have an idea!" He smiled cunningly to himself evilly, I was scared what he was about to suggest.

"And that is?" Louis and I said unexpected in unison. We both turned to look at each other with surprise for a couple seconds then turning away again to face Matty.

"Why don't you Harry kiss Louis or I and you can tell is after how it felt." I felt the temperature surrounding me increase, I'm sure my cheeks were tinted in a cherry kissed way.

"Pal, for starters I'm straight and secondly I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing a kissing with a boy." Louis tried to protest but Matty was demanding and persuasive that Louis couldn't say no, I didn't have a choice either. I just couldn't get my head around the fact that the first person I was going to kiss wouldn't be the person I was suppose to marry, secondly it would be a man.

"Louis you can go first." anyone would think that Matty was the older one between Louis and him with his demanding words.

We slowly leaned in, our lips mere millimetres apart from one another. my heart paced faster than ever, I engulfed his scent; I got this feeling that radiated off him from his amazing smell. it was like I was beginning to like him more.

I'm seconds my lips touched Louis soft silky ones, it felt nice. Unexpectedly his hand moved to cup my cheek, his thumb tracing delicate circles upon my skin. We moved our lips in sync, even though this was my first time I had quickly mastered it. in the heat of the moment I moved my hand to the back of his neck, slightly pulling the slightly overgrown hair. For what felt like a minute or two we were not interrupted but after a while Matty must have got bored and butted in, "I said a kiss not a make out session." he joked. 

I couldn't describe the feeling I felt when I kissed him but maybe that was normal to feel that, I decided to not say a word. 

"Finally my turn." he smiled to himself as he spoke slowly.

He hastily put his lips on too of mind and began to move them at a fast pace, I didn't know what I felt at this very second. I moved my lips also but soon pulled away.   
Before I had a chance to speak Matty burst in, "So how did both kisses feel?"

"Louis was nice, really nice. I liked it but yours Matty felt different."

"I think that is because you like me more than you did with Louis'." He smirked to himself, even though I thought I liked Louis best but I must have been mistaken. I thought like I was kissing a brother when I kissed Matty but what did I know, I had never had an encounter with a brother. He knows more about boys than I do so I dismissed it.

"Harry may have liked boys kissing him but he has never kissed a girl either." Louis was right, I hadn't so what it this was a normal feeling? 

"Well maybe I could get my sister Gemma to kiss you and you can find out. She's the same age as Louis."

"There's no point, his parents will be back in a few days and he will find out for himself. Like Harry said his parents wouldn't allow him to be with a man so either way he would have to marry this girl." Louis validly pointed out.

"Fine I won't talk to Gemma, I already hate your parents even more than I did before." Matty groaned to himself, but I wondered why he hated my parents in the first place.

"Why do you hate them?" Innocently, I asked.

"Because when my dad left us, my mum was pregnant with me and she worked as a cleaner for the King & Queen. A little after my mum gave birth to me the queen wouldn't let her have the job back. She only worked there for about 10 months and apparently the king never even knew that she was hired. Quite frankly I couldn't care less if that caused them problems as I know that my families were much worse, my mother Anne tried her hardest to support us and bring enough food to the table."

I truly did feel bad for Matty and his family, I wish I could do something to help them.

"I apologise on behalf of my parents, I wish there was something I could do... Hold on a second, I can. I will give you some of my money! It's no problem what so ever, I have millions! I don't need it and I would feel so much better for giving it to some people far more deserving of it." I explained my idea and a smile instantly spread across Matty's face.

"Really, are you sure? This would make my mother and the rest of my family incredibly happy."

"It would be my pleasure to help out, if you would accompany me back to the castle I can collect the desired money from the safe."


	9. IX

It had been two weeks since I last saw those two boys and even longer since I first saw the other boy who tried stealing from my home, what was his name... Z-- Za-- that was it... Zac. I cant forget those golden honey coloured eyes. I wondered what they were all doing right in this moment of time, no doubt thieving from another person. I shouldn't be making excuses for them but they only do it in order to provide for their families, I also shouldn't be wishing for them to make a return any time soon but I just couldn't help doing so. I guess it was kind of fortunate that they didn't turn up seeing as though my parents came home from their trip only a couple days ago, they don't even know I've stepped outside so that would make them furious with me and I never would like to upset them like that.

It felt so wonderful to be able to do a good deed for somebody, I got the pleasure of granting money to Matty's mother and her family. I felt so apologetic for Matty and the family once I heard that their dad, Arthur, left them when he found out Annabelle had fell pregnant with Matty and his twin; unfortunately she told me the other child was taken from her. I assumed she was meaning that it had died because well-- that what people usually mean when they use that figure of speech. 

When I gave her the money, £5,000, she said 'Thank you Harry' but the thing was I had never met her before so how could she possibly know my name? I had to ask her and she replied saying my mother had planned to name me harry before I was even born, that was believable wasn't it? Well I thought it was so I didn't think anything more about it.

My parents told me that the princess to be which I will be marrying and meeting very soon was called Lily. My mother told me that she was very pretty and would look great as my wife, the thought of me marrying so soon gave me anxiety. What if I didn't find her attractive? That would be the problem. Why did I like kissing Louis...oh and of course Matty. Matty said I must have liked Matty's the most by the feeling I felt whilst doing it so what if I didn't feel that or anything stronger with Lily? My parents would force me into a relationship with her either way it just disown me... But honestly it wouldn't be much different to now, they hardly even speak to me let alone tell me they love me. Am I that terrible of a son that they can even express through words how much I mean to them?

Right now I was all alone in this big home, I didn't choose to be but my parents insisted. My mother was at the market and my father was out hunting with his pals, I would never accompany my father while he's doing that to animals; I think it is cruel. My father still forces me to eat meat even though it tastes revolting, he will shout at me saying things like how 'I should eat what is put on my plate' or 'you are very ungrateful; some people don't get delicious food like we do'. It's not that, of course I'm grateful if everything I have. Not that we need everything though, I would choose to give some of our possesses to the less unfortunate. 

All of the space on my walls had been filled up, some things have been painted over but right now I like everything how it was. This was the only place I was allowed to express my feelings, i was surprised they even allowed that. But now after 16 years of life, I needed more walls to decorate but that was forbidden. 

All I could do was gaze out of the window, just staring at the beautiful views. It was breath taking. Daydreams would forever fill my mind whenever I did this, oh I wished I could swim in the crystal blue water of the lake as well as climb the mesmerising mountains. This was my next priority now that I had achieved my goal if stepping outside and just engulf the breeze, feel what grass feels like beneath my fingertips. 

I really would love to take an adventure out into the open but I didn't have enough time recently, I knew whenever they went out it was only for a shirt period so doubt I would get caught. I do not want to receive a punishment from my father, fortunately I've never had to experience one in all my life.

I prayed they would leave for a couple days as the shortest time away and then I could experience that incredible feeling again, I hoped that I would see those two men again soon. I had hoped that I would have friends by this age... They were my only friends. They were the only people I had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please can you tweet about my book or just tell your friend which like one direction or ship Larry; just please help me spread the word about this book.


	10. X

Another week had past and still, no visits from Louis... Oh and Matty of course. I missed their company, I've been so alone. I needed someone and they were the people I longed for. I needed another place to paint my feelings, every wall and ceiling was full of designs. 

Today was a big day for me, I was going to meet the maiden who was suppose to be married to me in a few months. I hoped I liked her and would grow feelings for her like I guess I feel for Matty as well as feel the strong attraction like I did for Louis.

I prayed to myself that I would like her or for that matter females in general, because if I didn't then I guess I would have to keep it a secret and play along like nothing was wrong. How could I ever break it to my parents that I was physically attracted to the male species, they have already warned me about it being a sin as well as not condoning it in their household. My father has sternly spoke of how they would banish me from the kingdom - I would no longer be a part of them but then again, what would the difference be from the way they treat me now? I'm sure being banished is just the same; I've been banished from the world. This made me second guess my prayers as I thought of what a wonderful world it could be if I were able to explore freely.

Maybe one day I would finally be able to accomplish that, after all I did get my dream to feel the grass beneath my feet. That was a peculiar feeling, it was so foreign to me but I loved it!

Maybe Louis and Matty could be the ones to help me, well that's if they ever came back. I felt empty, I felt a slight ache in the pit of my stomach. I had to much time in my own body, I started to over think... What if they would never return? What if that was the last day I would ever see them again. When I felt a wet substance on my cheek I realised I was crying, I didn't want to be lonely any more. I hated being alone! I hate having no one to speak to, no one asking how I am, no one telling me they love me. I just want to mean something to someone instead of being worthless. I hated it! I continued to willow in my own self pity for goodness knows how long until I heard a light knock on the door, I quickly wiped my eyes dry then telling them that they could enter. 

I was faced with my mother standing in the doorway, "Harold, I have someone who I need you to meet. I'm sure you will like her." Oh no! Was this the woman? I felt beyond nervous, I felt like I was about to throw up. I wanted to launch myself out of my huge glass bedroom window, at least then I would never have to go through with this nervous, on edge feeling.

Many thoughts ran through my mind. What if I didn't like her? What if I didn't find her attractive? Would my father assume I was gay or just that I wasn't keen on this woman's? Oh why did my life have to be like this? I wish I had a simpler life, I don't need any of this, it's not me. It's just bit who I'm supposed to be! 

My knees knocked as I walked down the stairs, I knew I was going to stutter once I had to speak to her, I decided on just letting that happen as I would act more of a fool if I tried not to.

My mother stayed silent, I followed quietly behind her. The only sounds heard was our footstep along the corridor.  I was assuming that my father was in the room keeping the woman entertained. She led me into a room which I had never entered before, there was so many rooms in the castle and with me only allowed in my room this all seemed so foreign. 

The girl looked young, maybe the same age as me. She had long blonde hair, she was pretty. Her eyebrows were most distinctive, they were so thick, I had never seen someone with eyebrows like that.

She looked shy, I could see her cheeks tinting in a rouge colour which I noticed gradually getting darker. I guess I was acting the same.

"H- Hi, my n-name is Harry."  
I politely spoke. 

"I'm Lily and I am 16 years old in just over a month." Ah so she was a year younger than me. Her voice seemed sweet, kind even. I needed to kiss her so I could see if I felt that same feeling I did when I kissed Louis and Matty.

"Can I show Lily around the garden?" I deviously asked. I knew I wasn't allowed but I should take her being here as the perfect monent.

My mother looked at me then at my father, it was as if she was pleading with him to say no. What was she trying to hide?

"Yes but don't go to far into the garden." I nodded at his strict instructions, I was surprised he was going to let me.

We walked silently out of the doors, I was now out in the fresh air. Just what I loved! I loved the view, the lake, the forest area and the mesmerising mountains. 

I had never been out here since I was a child, I didn't really know what there was to see but at least this opportunity let me explore all the beautiful sights in my garden! 

I lead her over to the bush of roses which looked freshly trimmed, "Do you like roses?" 

"Yes I do, they are actually one of my favourite types of flower." She replied with a cute smile on her face, I noticed the slight dimple in her cheek.

"Ooh how facinating." I commented before grabbing her hand and leading her to a place I haven't been to since I was a child, I had forgotten about this until now. 

"I want to show you something which used to bring me so much happiness as a child."

I searched for it, but it was no where in site. They must have taken it down since they made the rule to never be allowed out.

My smile dropped,"Its gone, I can't see it."

"But how did you not know this?" She confusedly asked.

"Well I had forgotten about it for a long time until... Well... Now."

She didn't say anything in reply except for the nod of understanding gesture.

I stopped froze, unlocking my fingers from her hand, I felt my blood ran cold. What were they doing here? If they got caught they would get executed for trespassing as well as all the robbery they've committed.

Lily stopped too, intensely gazing at me; trying to investigate the cause of my strange actions. "Harry?" 

"Louis." I very quietly told her, my finger pointed towards him. Her head snapped around to look at him, then back to face me.

"You know him? Is he your friend?" She warily asked.

"Yes" bluntly, I replied.

Her mouth dropped open in shock, "Do you have any kind of idea who they are and what he's done?"

"Of course I do, they are theives."

She gasped, "Why are you saying this like it is not a big problem? It is a sin! They are bad people, they should get the punishments they deserve!"

How cold hearted, they didn't deserve death! There is good in every blemished person, we just have to find it. 

"They are not bad people! Their actions they've chose to follow may not be correct, but they are nice people. Please do not disrespect them again." 

"You're right, I'm sorry." She apologised, before I had change to reply she spoke up again, "It's just-- I'm not sure. I've always been taught that people are a bad person if they do terrible things. But I can see that they could be kind people underneath the wrong actions."

I pulled her in for a slight hug as a thank you for understanding. I guess I was getting brave as I would never have done such a bold action like that before.

I decided to go over to talk to the two boys I hadn't seen for weeks.


	11. XI

I dislodged my hand from her waist, pulling away from the short embrace. I steadily strolled deeper into the garden, over to where Louis and the younger boy was located in the woodland area.

As I gradually drew closer to the two criminals, a distinctive aroma drifted up into my nostrils. It was somewhat familiar, I just couldn't put my finger on the exact place where I've smelt it before. I turned my head and saw that Lily was staying away from the boys. I carried on walking until I was beside Louis and Matty. Matty and I were the same height but Louis just a little taller than the two of us.

"Where have you been?" I told myself that I would make myself strong but as the words escaped from my vocal cords, I realised how weak and vulnerable my tone sounded.

"You know, just the casual hobbies we criminals do. You should try it actually, the feeling of adrenaline rushing through your bloodstream is incredible." Louis had this smirk on his face, it was quite egotistic yet smug at the same time. All I knew was he did something to my heart which increased the speed of the beats.

"I don't need to steal from people, I have the wealthiest family in the kingdom. I can have whatever I need." This was kind of a lie, I needed freedom but I wasn't allowed that. But I had money, I have excessive amounts which i don't need but I have it. 

"Stop. You sound so spoilt and stuck up, it doesn't suit you." Matty joined in the conversation. How else was I suppose to phrase the sentence then?  

I decided to avoid this subject and go back to the first question I asked which Louis managed to divert.  
"Please Lou, why did you stay away for so long?" I could hear my own voice crack, the emotions just threatening to push through. I was alone, they made me feel important. They were my warm, safe place. It was ironic really considering that they were always scrutinised for being dangerous thieves.

Louis took another drag of his cigarette before chucking it down on the ground, that's what the smell was. It came back to me. When I kissed him, his lips tasted of smoke. It was unusual but enduring. Secretly, I craved for the taste on my tongue.

"Why would you want us around? We are bad people, we do bad things. You're sweet and innocent, I don't want to taint you." His reasonings were honest, I could tell he meant the words he was telling. I felt like he was pushing me away, I know he hadn't really let me in but I thought progress was being made. 

"Lou, l-let me in." My stutter had returned, I hope it wasn't back permanently. Maybe it was just because I was trying to be strong but I was caving. 

"Huh? I don't get what you are saying, Harold." The confusion written on his face look authentic.

"You, you seem to push me away. I want you to here, I feel alone but you-- and Matty make me happy. I feel wanted when you are around. I don't care if you both do terrible things, I don't think that makes you a bad person. It may not be the correct path to stroll down but you do it to provide for your family." I was awful to witness Louis degrading himself, he thought I was looking down on him like I was better. That was certainly not true, I believed everyone was equal no matter what their social status or circumstances were. 

"Harry you are too good for me, for us." 

"When are you going to learn that everyone is equal? Even if you are implying that I'm 'better' than you, why did you decide to come back?" That question was the main one running through my mind at the moment, it needed to be answered.

"Because... Because I remembered that bright smile on your face when we became your first ever friend. You needed us, I-- we couldn't just leave you." My smile returned, this was kind. So thoughtful of him.

"Also, we could just abandon you after you helped my family out otherwise that would look like we-- I was using you for your money."

"Oh." I simply and quietly spoke, my tone was soft as it eluded from my vocal cords. 

I thought to my self how bad of a person I actually was, I was treated so poorly. I must deserve it in some way from something I have done, they wouldn't just conduct themselves badly for no reason, would they? I began to ponder further into the topic before my thoughts were interrupted by Matty speaking out, "Who's that blonde haired maiden walking around like she's lost?" Concern laced in his tone. At first I was a little confused as to what he was getting at but when he pointed over, I remembered I had company.  
"Oh... Oh, oh. She's the girl they want me to marry." I admit she was pretty, a huge amount actually but I wanted to find a girl, or a boy if that was the case to marry. It would me my decision, my choice and it would be genuine. What if I didn't even learn to love this girl? Would I have to pretend I did?

"You don't seem very happy about it, I'll have if you want." Louis joked but there was a hint of seriousness in his voice, he seemed attracted to her more than I was.

"I don't even know her!" My voice raised, I needed to get this frustration out of my body and it was beginning to help. "How can I marry someone I've just met? It's absurd!" My arms raised, my fingers massaging my temples to relieve the pain. 

"You really don't want to go through with this do you?" Louis asked, I had a feeling that he already knew the answer. But that didn't stop him from looking pitiful towards me as well as keeping his eyebrows furrowed.   
I just shook my head no, I didn't. 

"Have you ever considered... That you might to be into men?" Was he trying to ask if I was gay? I didn't know myself if I was it not. How was I suppose to answer this honestly?   
I stayed quiet for a while before I thought of an answer, "I-- I don't know, you are the first makes I've ever seen other than my father. Lily is the first female other than my mother, I just can't answer that question because I simply don't know myself. Even if I was I wouldn't be able to act upon it's my parents would dis--" I wasn't able to fully complete my answer as I heard my mother calling my name. 

"Harold! Harry!" She called again. My heart increased in pace, I began to panic. 

"I-I have to go. As you can hear my mother is calling for me, I need to leave before we get caught. Promise me you will be back."

"I promise Harry." Louis said, I didn't have time to wait for Matty to answer.

When I came out of the woodland area, I saw lily talking with my mother. She looked distressed, I am going to get in so much trouble for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @milly_1310


	12. XII

The anxiety I was feeling inside me was getting stronger, would they hurt me as my punishment? Would my father try to catch them so they would finally get hung? I hoped not. 

"Mother, what is wrong? I heard you calling me." I tried to keep my voice clear, I knew she hated mumbling and my stammer but sometimes I just couldn't help it.

"Oh yes, lunch is ready. Now come on." She started walking and we followed, I spoke up again without being asked.

"You're not angry about why I was in the woodland area, are you?" I was on edge, I felt like hours before she replied.

"Of course not Harold, Lily explained everything. You were just searching for what you both heard scurrying around, you wanted to protect her." Oh what? This definitely wasn't what happened. I turned to look at her, she offered me a sweet smile so I thought it would be best to give one back. She lied for me, I didn't expect that. Not when she clearly stated her option on those two thieves.

All while I ate my lunch, I had a smile creeping into my face. This was all because I had seen those two boys again. They were the people I liked most, they treated me with respect as well as help me conquer my dreams. I couldn't wait until I was able to see them again. 

After the meal was over, I showed her my room. She gasped as soon as I opened the door, I wondered what the matter was but she just said the beautiful paintings by n the walls. I never realised how impressive they actually were until she said so, my parents never gave me compliments. They hardly ever paid any attention to me at all.

A few hours had gone and I was all alone again, Lily had went home to wherever she lived. Maybe it would be a good idea if I married her, I noticed the difference in my parents. They actually spoke to me, they acted somewhat proud. When Lily made up that cover story to save me, my mother seems impressed that I was 'protecting' her when in fact associating with those boys could put us in danger. 

I needed more space on my wall to paint so that wasn't something I could do so instead I layered on my bed, staring up at the painted ceiling. My eyelids closed, eyelashes brushing against my cheeks. The only sound being my steady breathing, Louis drifted into my mind... Oh and Matty of course. Imagining a life where I didn't have to keep them a secret, where I didn't have to be a secret to the world and I wouldn't need to ask to go out. I would just be able to do it; I would be free. If I could fly, just like a bird then I would be free. I began to wonder, was everyone's lives like this? The state of feeling unwanted, feeling alone, trapped. I guess I would always wonder this because nothing would ever change, my parents weren't suddenly going to make me feel appreciated, the only time I have in 16 years which I can clearly remember feeling wanted was today. If I wanted even a slightest change, it may not happen but if the chance was worth it, then I would have to marry the girl. 

After a while, I drifted to sleep. Once again, my dreams were filled with freedom, Matty and Louis. They soon disappeared when my father made an appearance.

"Harold, after today I need you to come to a decision; are you going to marry the girl or not?" I was surprised that he even gave me a choice, but I bet if I had said no then he would have manipulated me into saying yes. There wasn't really much I could say to him apart from that I would.

"Lily, she's a nice girl. I think I would want to marry her... Maybe if I could meet her again then I would know for sure the conclusion.

"Harold. I need to find out now, are you going to marry the girl or not?" Why was he forcing this upon me? I didn't even know if I liked her in that way, how was I suppose to know if I wanted to marry her just from meeting her once! 

"No. I'm not going to marry her." I stood my ground, he can't expect this of me. This was big decision which would affect me for the rest of my life, it couldn't be decided that fast. I heard him gasp.

"What do you mean 'no'? What is wrong with you?" 

I breathed out heavily before starting to explain, "I don't want to marry the girl. It's simple father, I don't even know her. I don't even know if I fancy her."

"This is ridiculous, boy! Are you some kind of gay?" I could see the red beginning to soak into his skin, he was getting angry. I felt angered. How dare he just ask me that, just because I may not want to live forever with her doesn't mean I won't find other girls attractive.

"Well, no. I don't think I am. I just don't know if I will ever love her like I'm suppose to, if My eyes will light up every time I see her, if my heart beat will rapidly increase when she's close to me. I've read books and so far, I don't feel any of that." But I do when I'm around Louis... And Matty. Was that love? No, just friendship. I'm not gay, I can't be. 

"Well then you must be a homosexual if you don't want to marry Lily. Do you remember Harold what I said would happen if that was ever true?"

I nodded my head. They couldn't disown me, send me into exile. I would have no one, not that I have anyone now. There was only one thing I could do and that was marry her.

"I will marry her." He smiled to show his achievement, he patted me on the back then walked out without a word. This left me to my own thoughts, what have I gotten myself into?


	13. XIII

That night I spend it over thinking, feeling remorse towards myself. I began to regret my decision. Now we would be married in a month or so but if I had said no, then I would have been able to buy myself some more time. 

This meant I would soon be a father, I wanted to make love for the first time with a woman or man who I felt that I truly loved. Not with a woman who I was forced to marry. I began to think of ways to get out of this, maybe I could run away. But then I thought of Louis and Matty; that Z child didn't matter that much to me seeing as though I only met him once. I did think that they might want to escape with me but I began to over think that until I came to the conclusion that they wouldn't want to leave their loving parents. I guess I was trapped in a metaphorical cage, if I chose to fly then it would have to be solo.

I turned my head slightly to shoot a glance at the alarm clock sitting on my bedside table. It was already 5 am, there was no way I could get to sleep now so I decided to get up.

I put on another one of my silk shirts, my mother chose it for me, it was lilac. My father didn't like me wearing it but I love it and the floral pattern. He told me numerous times how it didn't look 'manly' enough and to be quite honest, I disagree with him. A shirt shouldn't decide if you come across as a man or more of a feminine man, if I want to wear something then I should be able to without getting judged. If I wanted to wear a skirt then I should be allowed, just because people say it's a item of women's clothing shouldn't let it restrict us from dressing in it. I don't think I would ever choose to wear one but we should have the choice without getting judged.

There wasn't much I could do, if I was free then I would choose to go outside but I'm not. The only thing I could do is paint. I took a plain canvas, a few paint brushes and paints and sat on the chair on the balcony. I had a mesmerising view; the snow icing the tops of the mountains in the distance. A thin sheet of ice lay over the lake; it glistened in the winter sun. 

I let time escape me as I stared out into the horizon, I shut my brain down in order for me to relax. I put my brush on the canvas, I let my body take control. A few hours has gone by, when I looked down I realised what I had done. I drew Louis and not just him, but Matty also. 

Why did I paint them? How did I remember all of their features? They must be clouding up my mind without me realising. I should have though, they are important in my life. They are my friends, my only friends. 

I pushed myself off of the woven chair, as soon as I got into my room I had to stop and decide. Where would I hang it? There was so many things painted on the walls that there was no clean space. Everything which I had painted meant something to me but i had to put it somewhere. I decided to hang it in front of the painting of my mother and father, I see them everyday so it wouldn't hurt to cover them up. Besides, it felt weird to see them staring at me all day, everyday. 

I pulled out my pocket watch, I was now just past 8 am. I felt like going insane, I was so bored. I had nothing to do apart from being cooped up in here, art was beginning to become tiresome. I did like it but after 16 years of being in here with nothing to do apart from that, you become tired of it.

I knew this was a risky choice but I decided to go out of this room which I've had been told to stay in for 16 years of my life. As I neared the kitchen I saw my father notice my presence, they held a stern gaze before changing momentarily to guilty but within seconds they were back to being dark and strict.

"What do you think you're doing down here without permission?" He boomed at me, I wasn't very tall compared to him which made me have to look up to him like he was more important than I. 

"Uh, I-I just wanted to do something different as I was bored."

"How could you possibly be bored with all the paintings you do?" He sneered sarcastically, he thought it was idiotic to paint. He would never understand how you could get your thoughts and feelings expressed through each pieces, he only wanted to know what he assumed as correct. I guess he was arrogant.

"Exactly my point, now go back up to your room and your breakfast will arrive shortly."

There was nothing I could do but obey him, I needed to get away from here. I opened one of the metal handles on the glass window, the cool breeze blowing against my now red cheeks. I thought about escaping but right now wasn't a good time, I knew that would have to be planned and go ahead later. 

The problem wasn't solved though, I needed to get away even if it wasn't for a long period of time. Maybe I could go after one of my parents have brought up my breakfast, all I need is them finding me missing; I can't even imagine what punishment I would receive if they find out. 

There was three knocks on the door, that was my mother. When the door opened and she walked in, I realised I was correct. 

She put the tray down on the table, as she turned to walk out the door she froze in horror. This sent a wave of confusion to wash over my brain, what was so wrong?

"H-Harold, who are they?" She stammered, he face had paled drastically, she was horrified.

She was probably wondering why I drew them, how I even knew who they were. I was going to be in so much trouble!


	14. XIV

"Ergh--" I stalled while thinking of a believable explanation for my portrait.

"Come on now Harold, you know how we hate you stammering and mumbling. Now I want you to tell me again but this time pronouncing your words correctly." My mother told me decisively.

"T-They are just people from my imagination." It was the first excuse I could think of, I hoped it was believable! The look on my mothers face didn't help the guilt I felt in my gut. What was happening to me, why was I lying so much all of a sudden? I had never lied or disobeyed their commands before. 

"You do believe me, right, mother?" I questioned further.

"Ah, yes, of course." She didn't seem so sure of her answer but I didn't want to dig anymore into the situation, afraid that if I did, she would find out the secrets I have been hiding.

"You know me, me and my wild imagination. Just look around at all the walls and you will see." I awkwardly chucked at the end, nothing was humorous about the topic but I was bad at having conversations. 

"Yes I know, I really do think these walls could do with a new lick of paint." She suggested but it sounded demeaning and like I shouldn't disagree. I couldn't stop myself from doing so though, "But why would I want to do that?"

"You always complain about needing more empty canvas to paint so why not cover everything, or just that wall..." As she spoke she signalled towards the wall with Matty and Louis on. "Then you can start fresh." I listened to her opinion but to be quite frank, I didn't like it.

"I guess I could, but I like it the way it is." I stood my ground. It wasn't like they could come into my room and paint it without me knowing as I was never allowed to leave this room.

"It's your choice Harry, I will be leaving now. Stay well!" With that she left my room without another word. I walked over to my bed and sat down, I stared at the recent piece I had created then slowly scanning the rest of the walls; taking in each piece.

Most of my life had been reflected in the paintings I had done, some represented my life and some were of my hopes and dreams. The cage, the lock and key were how I felt; trapped. The open cage with birds flying freely were what I wished for; freedom. The mountains, lakes and forests are apart of my dreams; I would like to explore them when I get the chance. The lanterns among the stars on my ceiling are also what I hope to experience; sleeping out in the open, under the stars. The lanterns are what I will set free as soon as I feel I am free, it will be as if my problems and past will be lifted off my shoulders - floating away to leave me revived. 

I so desperately craved to feel Louis presence, and I can't forget Matty's. When I spent time with them, I would always feel something which I knew was missing normally. I hadn't felt it for a long time, and that was happiness. 

Walking to the window ever so slowly, I began to imagine a life where I was free to do whatever I wished. The breeze blew through the windows, my curls flying behind me from the pressure. It was so amazing to feel that, it just made me want to feel it all over my body as I ran upon the grass once more. But that wouldn't happen for a while, I knew that for sure. Both of my elbows rested upon the concrete window sill, my eyes gazed off into the distance. I could stare at the mesmerising view for hours upon hours, that's usually how I spent my day.

A lot of time must have past as I stared away the day, the sky changed from a grey blue to a warm pink. The sun was setting behind the mountains, I wish I could capture the image and maybe paint it after but it wasn't possible for my brain to remember every detail.

I walked over to my bed, there was nothing really to do. I decided to get out a bored game, I would have to play it alone like usually, scrabble was going to be my entertainment this evening. 

First, I heard one light tap. I turned my head to search for where the source of sound came from, but I found nothing. I went back to my game until I was interrupted once more. This time I figured it was coming from   
Something getting hit against the window. I began to wonder why something odd was occurring, my curious it took over and I was lead to the window pane. My hands reached for the window, I pushed it up then stuck my head out. It was when I looked to the ground that I noticed the scruffy haired boy standing there. My heart began to increase its beats, this was obviously from the panic of fear of him getting caught. They would kill him.

I lowered my voice so my parents wouldn't hear but just loud enough for Louis to.

"Louis." I called out, he stopped throwing the stones after one nearly collided with my forehead. "This is so risky, you're going to get yourself killed!" I shouted down to him.

"I live for the thrill." He cockily stated in reply. I stayed silent since I wasn't quite sure what to say next. Thankfully, he saved me the trouble.

"Are you going to come down? I figured you could do with exploring a little further." I laughed to myself at how ridiculous was; I wasn't allowed out to begin with, let alone be spending time with criminals. He must have forgotten how tight on rules they are.

"Uh, I'm not so sure." I wanted to feel free again, it was the best feeling in the world. However, I did not want to face the consequences of being caught by either of my parents.

"Why a sudden change of heart?" Why it not obvious?

"My parents could caught me at any moment, both of us would be at risk--"

"Harold, who are you talking to?" My mother interrupted me by speaking... My mother! Oh this was bad, would be in serious trouble now! 

I signalled to Louis to not speak, if he did then I would be dead for sure. Thankfully Louis complied by staying silent, anxiously I turned around.

"Mother." I spoke then paused. Taking a deep breath in to calm myself, I couldn't seem on edge as she would figure something out.

"Harold, I came to give you your tea but gradually as I came closer, I heard you speaking. So I want you to tell me the truth, who are you communicating with?"

I turned around to look out the window, I kept my back to my mother. I took another deep breath as I noticed Louis still standing in the middle of the garden looking up at the window.

"Nature."

"I beg your pardon?" She questioned slightly confused.

"I was talking to the nature. I told the forests how I would like to explore them, I murmured to the mountains how I wished to climb them one day. I lavished the lake with compliments on its beauty and how I had a desire to sail across the water one evening--"

"How peculiar." I wasn't sure if my mother was speaking g to me or herself as she rudely walked out the room. I sighed heavily, I felt most of my anxiety subside as she left, I could now speak with Louis. 

"What was all that about?" The ocean blue filled eyes asked me. I felt a smile makes its way onto my face as I heard his voice once again. He spoke with a soft tone contrasted with a deep and raspy one; either way it was by far my favourite sound.


	15. XV

"She heard me speaking with you, I told you it was dangerous coming here!" I spoke with a hushed tone - afraid of being heard again. 

"Oh stop your worrying, Love. Trust me, I won't get caught. Besides, I've had a lot of practise if you catch my drift." 

"Why did you have to bring up your history of robbing? This just reminds me why my parents wouldn't want me associating with you." I was at a dilemma, I knew speaking to Louis was a bad idea and only trouble would be the consequence, but he was so intriguing. It was something in him which hooked me from staying away. Maybe it was his kindness, him wanting to be my friend. Something I had never had before him and Matty turned up in my life. I guess that's what it was.

"Ok. Harry, I'm sorry. I will try not to mention it again, if that's what you want."  
I nodded my head for yes even though there was a chance he probably didn't see the action. 

"Anyway, come meet me in those trees in about 10 minutes, you can give an excuse to your parents or just sneak out which I'm presuming you will do." He pointed to the woods he was specifying, then he ran and gradually disappeared.

I knew what I wanted. That was to go to the woodland area to meet Louis but the trouble was the difficulty I would face to try and escape. I knew opening my bedroom door and descending the stairs to get out that way wouldn't be possible without getting caught, any sort of noise and one of my parents will go to investigate. I can't possibly get caught, I would be dead.

As I walked back out onto the balcony, my eyes scanned around my surroundings. I needed to plan my escape route and fast! Time was ticking away, if I didn't mean them in time then they may leave thinking I'm not coming.

Soon enough my bare feet connected with the green strands of grass, oh how I missed the odd feeling. I had managed to climb down the branches of wisteria which grew on the walls of the castle. I had to jump to the ground, this has caused a little pain in my feet but I shall be fine.

I darted towards the woodland before anyone would spot me missing from my room or see me in the grounds of the castle. Seconds later I was out of sight and undercover in all the trees. I had escaped again but what was worse was the fact my parents were home. Fear was like a dagger stabbing me in the gut, it was in too deep and wouldn't leave.

As I paced further into the forests, I finally noticed Louis and Matty leaning against tree trunks as they waited for me to search for them. Louis eyes found me then his fingers let go of something, I suppose it was a cigarette. As it fell to the ground, it emitted a sound once it crashed into the fallen Autumn leaves. I knew he smoked and he knew I didn't like that.

He backed away from the tree, both arms placed behind his back. Not one like a gentleman should as he waits for his guest, no. This was more like he was trying to keep something hidden. 

"Took you long enough." The feathery haired boy joked as he started conversation between us.

"Uh, you know what my parents are like." He knew it wasn't easy for me to just simply walk outside like he could, the only way I was able to visit life outside my bedroom walls was by fleeing through my window.

"Baby doll, it was a joke." Matty explained.

"I would prefer if you didn't call me any of your pet names." I confidently told him. Even though it made me blush a little, it still made me feel awkward.

"Ok, just calm down."

I simply just rolled my eyes, I was calm. I looked down at my bare feet standing on the muddy ground then glancing up to meet Louis eyes before quickly focusing at my dirty feet once again; I needed to wash when I got back to the castle.

 

Looking at Louis for not even a second still made me remember something. I took a deep breath before parting my reddish lips to speak, "Louis." I stated bravely, "What are hiding behind your back?"

"I'm not hiding anything." He sounded a little defensive, that's what I gathered from the tone of his voice.

"Yes you are, I can tell you are clutching something in your hands. I noticed it as I was nearing you." He couldn't fool me, there was something he was keeping a secret. Before he had a chance to speak, I spoke up again. "Don't even bother trying to lie."

"I'm not lying and I certainly do not have anything to hide. I bought you a journal, I wanted to surprise you." He pulled out a leather journal from behind his back. It looked well in tacked; the leather looked new. 

"Lou, when you say bought do you actually mean stole?" 

"You know what, fućk you Harry! I tried being nice by getting this to you could express your feelings in another way than just painting but you just accuse me of shit!" This was the first time I heard him raise his voice and the fact that he was yelling at me stunned me. I stayed silent, I did feel a trance of guilt in my mind.  
"Why would you say that?" His tone grew softer, he seemed slightly vulnerable. 

I stayed silent for a few seconds, the only sound being heard were the branches swaying through the breeze and the birds nesting in the trees chirping their songs. 

"What do you expect?" I rhetorically asked, I laughed shortly to myself. "The first time I met you was when you came to steal from the castle where I have to stay. Sorry if I have my doubts about you." I wasn't exactly in the wrong here, who could blame me for thinking that way? 

"I know that and part of me regrets meeting you because of this reason but another part of me is glad I met you Harry Styles." I looked into his blue oceans as he handed me the journal, they looked cloudy today. He had stormy eyes. The tan leather felt soft against the skin on my palm. The journal was a brilliant idea, maybe writing could be a new hobby since I ran out of space on the walls. 

The atmosphere felt wrong, it felt different. All three of us were silent, debating whether or not to start conversing again. It felt slightly awkward. 

"I think I better go, you know, before they realise I'm gone." At least that excuse was realistic to believe. "Thanks for the journal, Lou. I mean it! You're a good friend... You too Matty." 

I didn't wait for any of them to speak as I ran towards the exit. Tears pooled at my emerald eyes for a matter of seconds before streaming down my cheeks to leave blotchy red patches. It hurt. Realisation hurt. The fact that this last encounter with the two boys hit me like a tonne of bricks. I had lost my only friends I ever had and it was all my fault. No more spontaneous visits like before, alone again I would be. If I hadn't been so suspicious and judging towards him then this would never have happened. I always hated judgers, I made people see the truth but today I had developed one of those features which I despised. I loathed myself for loosing the things I loved most in the world. Their friendship and my happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it and please press the kudos button and comment your opinions.


	16. XVI

My eyes followed Harry as he bolted through the trees, towards the light and back to the castle. His curls bounced with each step he made through the refreshing breeze. I wasn't sure when I would see him again. A timed distance needed to be spent between us before we spoke again, I'm afraid he could snap again. Or even worse, tell his parents all our horrible crimes we've committed. God forbid what they would do to Matty for being homosexual; prison, lynching or even murder. I knew in my gut that Harry was different to everyone else, he didn't judge us. Not in the beginning anyway. He was a forgiving boy, so much kindness within him but he was mostly innocent. For some unknown reason, Harry had a special place in my heart. I cared for him and I knew I would try to protect him.

It wasn't that I had feelings for him though, I am a straight man.

Matty didn't speak and neither did I. What had occurred was a completely unexpected, this was why we had became mute.

"You know Louis, he had no right to say what he did. It wasn't fair on you, I thought he was different." Matty came to my defence, not that I needed it.

"He is different, you know that as well as I do. What do we expect? He is right, we got caught burgling the castle." What we did that day and before that was wrong, so wrong but we were desperate. It was committed in an act to save our family from dying from malnutrition. When I was younger I would wish I could live in a big house, sort of like Harry's. I wanted to to have money to buy lots of luxury's but now I realise how selfish I was. I had something which some family's didn't get and that was a loving family. I wasn't sure why but at that moment my mind drifted did to Harry, I began to imagine what he was doing right now. Most likely painting, I wonder if he kept the journal or threw it in the bin. However, Harry had poems inside him which paper couldn't possibly handle. He is so precious, he holds the sun in his smile and has galaxies in his eyes. I had never met someone as incredible as him, it was spectacular really. It made him unique and special in a way, that's why I liked him. I wouldn't be surprised if his father and mother were making him miserable; I wish I could save him from them. He would never admit that he hates them but I could tell he despises them; he wouldn't even need to confess. 

Despite everything that happened in our last encounter, I'm not prepared to let him go like that. I need to see him again but it won't be tonight. He needs time to calm down and me showing up tonight just wouldn't help things. 

In him I was sure I could see something more than what other could see, something beautiful, alluring, something more than words could ever describe. I saw something special, something in the twinkle of his eyes. Is it wrong that I don't want anyone else to look at his eyes? 

The journey back to my house was full of deep thoughts of Harry. He had never consumed my mind this much before so why now? It was rather odd. I managed to get home safely without being noticed or arrested. People knew I was a robber but fortunately I was never caught. It was strange, I was at home but something seemed off. In the pit of my stomach it was like I was missing something, it was like I was missing a home. Like I didn't have one. 

"Lou, I've made soup dinner." My mother shouted to me. My stomach was practically empty, I knew my mother tried her best but this just wasn't going to be filling enough. I wish we could live better - we can barely afford the necessities. 

I sat around the table along with my other sisters and step dad. People thought it was weird that I didn't love with my dad but I didn't care, Daniel had always treated me and my mother better, besides, he was a great father. I took a spoonful of the Tomato soup and hummed in delight. "This is incredible mother!"

"Let me guess, you've been with that darling boy?" My mother asked but I knew she already knew the answer.

"I have. I have a suspicion that Matty is very fond of him." I felt a slight discomfort in my stomach, it was odd.

I watched my mother as she let out a confused 'hmm', her eyebrows furrowed and wrinkles became prominent on her forehead.

"What's the matter?" I was concerned.

"It doesn't make sense, a royal baby. I don't remember the queen ever being pregnant or making a public announcement." 

"Maybe they thought it would endanger the baby, hurt Harry." She shook her head at my explanation. I thought it made perfect sense.

"You see, she would go out all the time yet she didn't look pregnant whatsoever. In fact, there was only one woman pregnant in that year." 

"You don't think--" I started off until my mother interrupted.

"No... I'm not sure." 

After that I decided to leave it. All these theories and thoughts were hurting my mind. There was nothing to uncover, we were just being over pre-cautious. 

I walked down the hall into my bedroom which I had to share with my siblings and sat in my bed. This wasn't the way I wanted to live. The room was cold, so cold that I could see my breath as crisp white cloudy air. All I had to keep me warm was two blankets which my mother knitted years back. Fire wood was too expensive and sometimes I would risk going deep into the forest to chop some trees up. If we were caught then that was also punishable by death. Warmth was a luxury.

Most nights I would fall a sleep shivering, that's what happened once again tonight. Tomorrow I needed to work on my dream--no, goal. We all know dreams don't exist but goals do. One day I would be able to earn enough money to provide for my family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudos and comment, it is very appreciated. Please could you share it on Twitter and tag me @milly_1310 .


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